


Silence

by VoidSterekOTP



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Friends, Break Up, Dark, Depression, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Everyone Has Issues, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lonely Stiles Stilinski, M/M, Post-Nogitsune, Recently Edited, Sad Ending, Sad Stiles Stilinski, Scott is a Bad Friend, Self Harm, Stiles is Pushed Out of the Pack, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2018-07-10 23:25:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7012411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidSterekOTP/pseuds/VoidSterekOTP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silence, always silence. No matter how many times he calls, whenever the pack are together all he receives is silence.</p><p>His grades have dropped. The nightmares are back. And his friends? Well, maybe he doesn't have any anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silence is deadly

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: METIONED SELF HARM AND SUICIDE DO NOT READ IF THESE WILL TRIGGER YOU IN ANY WAY.

Silence, always silence no matter how many times he calls. Whenever the pack are together all he receives is silence. Stiles’ days have begun to blur into one long, torturous succession of self-hatred. His grades have dropped at school although no one seems to have noticed. The nightmares that plague his sleep have returned threatening him every time he closes his eyes. And is friends…well maybe he doesn’t have any anymore. 

It’s Friday night. Pack night. Scott has actually asked him to go for once. So he pulls on his red hoodie and wraps it tight around him, making sure no one will notice his mutilated arms. 

He arrives with pizza. A piece offering if you will. He walks in to the room which falls silent as he enters. The looks the pack give one another let him know that Scott didn’t tell them he invited him. He doesn’t say a word though. He just places the pizzas on the table and watches as everyone digs in without so much as a thank you. He doesn’t bother eating. There’s no point anymore. He takes this moment to slip away and into the backyard where he lays on the grass and stares up at the stars. They don’t judge him, they offer him peace. Like a promise that one day he will be higher than them, that one day he could be a part of their family. 

He hears footsteps and the familiar sound of the glass door sliding open, he doesn’t move. He doesn’t even blink he just continues staring at the bright balls of light in the sky.

“Are you okay?” He registers Derek asking, he tilts his head and offers a weak smile before nodding a yes.

“I know things have been tough recently. Especially with us. I know it’s been hard on you since the Nogitsune and- I do love you Stiles. It's killing me seeing you like this but me and you, we’re toxic. I’m broken Stiles and that isn’t good for you. All I want is for you to be happy but right now that can’t be with me.” Dereks voice is gentle but firm as he talks.

Stiles doesn't speak or respond he only listens. He seems to do that a lot lately. For once he doesn’t feel the need to say anything so he saves his ever depleting energy. He stays silent as if it’s his last defence. Stiles leaves not long after Derek goes back inside. As per usual nobody notices and if they did then no one said anything. 

He finds his way home on auto pilot. His dad isn’t home like usual. Stiles sets about tidying up. He puts the dishes in the dishwasher, washes his father’s clothes and puts away the empty bottles of whiskey. Even his dad has been avoiding him after everything that happened. 

Stiles drags himself back to his room and locks the door and windows. No one needs to see this. He reaches into his bedside table and pulls out his silver friend. A single tear rolls down his cheek as he pulls the razor across his skin. One, two, three, four. He takes a deep steadying breath before he starts his clean up routine. 

The next couple of days are no different than any other. He wakes up, lies in bed questioning his existence and then falls asleep again. His father hasn’t noticed his sons’ recent absence. He hasn’t even noticed that his son is losing more and more weight every day. Why would he? 

It’s Monday now and the teenager has dragged himself into the hellhole that is school. At first everyone ignores him, as if he is invisible and no one knows he exists. Then he's confronted by the people he thought were his friends. They say they need to get everything off their chests. Tell him how they feel after the whole possession ordeal. 

“You killed her.” “You killed him” “We know it wasn’t you” “but we still can’t forgive you”

“Don’t want you around” “don’t come to pack nights” “leave us alone” “we’re sorry”

Stiles stands and takes it all. He’s been waiting for this day for what feels like decades. He nods agreeing with them. It was his fault. Everything is his fault, if only he had been stronger. 

But what's the point in having strength if you have nothing left to be strong for? Any strength that he had left has drained away with the rest of what makes him who he is. He doesn’t have that fighting spirit anymore. He lost it, he lost is all. Including his will to live. 

He walks away leaving the pack yelling after him. He doesn't say a word. 

The drive home feels long although its only a mere 10 minutes. He feels disassociated as he walks inside his childhood home. Following the familiar path to his dads office where he takes a seat on the black leather chair.

He doesn't waste anytime as he takes out a pen and paper placing the items in front of him. He spends the next few moments writing a wave of calm washing over him. He makes sure to leave the paper in clear sight as he gets on with his next task. 

He rummages around on the desk for a second before locating the small key. He unlocks the top draw on the left of the desk. Reaches inside and with no hesitation takes out his fathers gun. He holds it in his hands for a moment feeling its deadly weight before sliding it into the back of his jeans. 

He leaves the office with a blank emotionless expression clouding his face. One last look around the home he grew up in, all the memories it holds. Like when he and Scott rode mattresses down the stairs or when his mom made her amazing apple pie. When he and his dad would watch TV and eat Chinese food. Where he and Derek shared their first kiss. He leaves all behind in favour of his favourite place in the preserve.

The sun is shining, making the surface of the stream glisten under its rays. It’s tranquil and the birds are singing, lulling him into a sense of security. Stiles pulls out the gun. They didn’t need him anymore, the wouldn’t miss him. They made that much clear. He smiles, listening to the trees rustle in the wind.

**Bang.**

_Dad,_

_I am sorry for what this will do to you but I couldn’t hold on any longer. I have lost everything. Ever since the Nogitsune, no one has treated me the same. I understand though. I really do. I am so sorry for everything I have put you through but now you are free. I won’t be here to burden you anymore; you won’t have to worry about me. Please keep an eye on the pack and know that none of this was your fault. You were amazing but I couldn’t be here anymore, so I’ve gone to join mom. I think she will be happy to see me. I won’t ask you to promise me anything as that isn’t fair but I ask one thing of you, please look after yourself._

_I love you dad. Goodbye._

_Mieczyslaw_


	2. Glue

A day and a half, that’s how long it took the sheriff to notice that his son was missing. It took an extra day for him to find the note. 

He picks the note up with shaking hands. He reads the neat writing through blurred vision as the tears cloud his eyes. His baby. His little boy is gone. He falls to the ground, his knees no longer supporting his weight. This was Stiles’ goodbye, he just read his sons last words. He checks his top draw. His gun is gone. He has to find his son. He doesn’t say anything to the pack. He can’t face them. Not until he finds his little boy. He does his best to pull himself together as he switches to work mode and has every available officer trying to find Stiles.

Three days later Stiles’ body is found by a young couple walking their dog. The gun lays limp in his hand as he's covered over by a sheet. The sheriff cries out; his little boy is dead. How couldn't he notice something was wrong when it all seems so clear now. How didn’t he notice the cuts layered up his boys arms or the drastic weight loss? How didn’t he notice that his child had sunk so low. 

He goes home that night in a daze. He’s alone and for the first time he notices how silent the house is. He’s used to hearing Stiles playing video games or watching TV, talking on the phone, even crying. He takes a long swig of whiskey straight from the bottle.

“I am so sorry son. Please, please forgive me.” 

\-----

Derek is the first of the pack to find out about Stiles' disappearance. He goes to the Stilinski house in search for answers about the sudden absence and to try and get his mate back. He knocks twice, for once not entering through the window, for some reason it doesn’t feel right. The sheriff opens the door after a couple of minutes. He looks old and warn, his hands are still shaking and there are tear tracks staining his face. The smell of alcohol assaulting the alphas senses. Derek stands back a look of slight shock on his face as he takes in the older mans appearance. Its only then does he realise he can only here one heartbeat. 

“W-where-“The sheriff shakes his head and rasps out ‘he’s gone’ before shutting the door in the alphas face. Derek doesn’t move, he didn’t hear a lie and can hear the sheriff staring to sob. Stiles is gone? No he can’t be. Derek doesn’t realise he is running until he gets to the station. 

He walks in and immediately starts to question Parrish who has had a glum look on his face since the day they found the teenager. Derek goes home that night with a shattered heart and a howling wolf. His mate is dead and it’s all his fault. If only he had paid closer attention and hadn’t of pushed him away maybe Stiles would still be alive. Maybe he would still be breathing.

\-----

Derek broke the news to the rest of the pack a week later. They didn’t take it well. Lydia screamed and broke down in Jacksons arms. Jackson shook as he tried his hardest to keep back the tears.

Kira was silent, she didn’t know Stiles well but she didn’t make the effort to get to know him either. Erica cried and clawed at the walls before falling onto the floor and not moving. Boyd didn’t move, he didn’t even blink he just let the silent tears flow down his face. 

Isaac ran away and hid in his room, he didn’t want anyone to see him being weak. Melissa did her best at staying strong. She put on a brave mask in front of the pack and the sheriff but at night when alone in her room she cried. She cried for the boy she considered her second son. 

Scott… Scott was the worst. He wolfed out and tore apart the couch before howling and crying into his alphas shoulder.

The funeral was two weeks after they found him. It was a small affair consisting of the pack, Melissa, Parrish and his father. Everyone said beautiful things. Things Stiles needed to hear when he was alive.

They gathered at the sheriffs after. No one knew what to say. Stiles was always the one to get the conversation going, so no one said anything. They stayed quiet and listened to all the reasons in their heads telling them that it was their fault.

\-----

6 months later the sheriff puts a shotgun in his mouth. The guilt of losing his Son and Wife too much for him to handle. So he goes to join his family. He doesn’t bother to leave a note. He has nothing to say.

Scott tries his hardest to live his life, He goes to the community college with Isaac and Kira and tries to move on. He makes it to the age of 22 before he breaks down over a bottle of wolfsbane laced vodka and swallows a bottle of sleeping pills. Melissa follows soon after. The loss of another son to much to bear.

Isaac left town with Kira 3 months later. They stayed in contact for a while but after a while they both disappeared. They were found a year later by the police tied up in a hunters’ basement. They didn’t even try to break free, they just let it happen.

Jackson and Lydia went to London. It didn’t work out. Jackson ended up getting lost in the model lifestyle before crashing and ending up broke and on the streets. He's arrested and sentenced to life in prison for multiple murders at the age of 24. 

Lydia started working a street corner, it didn’t matter that she was once the top of her class. Nothing mattered anymore. It was a bearable gig until one night she got picked up by the wrong person. She was found stabbed to death at the age of 25.

Erica and Boyd stayed in Beacon Hills with Derek where they raised their daughter. But after 3 years their marriage fell apart and Erica took their daughter and ran. Boyd poisoned himself with wolfsbane that night. Aged 27.

Derek went on. He didn’t meet anyone else, he stayed in Beacon Hills and lived out his years alone. The guilt stayed with him right until the end. He never forgave himself for letting Stiles slip through his fingers but he knew Stiles would have wanted him to live. It hurt but over time he became numb. He managed to stay strong until age 48 where he laid in bed one night and never woke up. He went to join his pack, his mate.

Stiles Stilinski was the glue that held the Hale pack together. And each year a bit of that glue washed away until they were left with nothing. Only broken walls that couldn’t stand anymore. So they crumbled and fell one by one until nothing was left but broken pieces of what once was a beautiful memory. A memory that will be cherished forever by anyone who knew these amazing wolves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say a couple of things. 
> 
> Firstly thank you for reading :) all comments and feedback are much appreciated.
> 
> Secondly, to anyone out there that feels like the world is crumbling around them. I just want to say that everything will be okay. Just stick with it and things will sort themselves out. You will not feel this way forever and one day your world will start to get brighter again. I know it's hard, i am going through it myself but remember that there will always be someone out there willing to listen. Always Keep Fighting!


End file.
